For Some Reason...

I have been really good all week at not getting all emotional and mopey since Chad left.


That is, until last night.  Chad received the crushing news that he was not chosen for the job that he interviewed for when he was up here.  It kind of sent me into panic mode. I don't deem myself to be codependent on him in any way, but not knowing when he's coming back up, and having this set back his move up here freaked me out.

I cried, I got mopey,  and I'm really realizing how much I've missed him this week.  I was so used to seeing him every day, and now we're back to phone calls and texts.  Those can't even compare to being able to look at him, to be in the same room as him.

I found out that I got the job that I interviewed for a few weeks ago, and I start at the end of August. I guess things for Chad and I just won't line up as easily as I thought.  I can't lie though, I'm really excited to start this job and have more structure to my life once again.

At the same time, since I have a few more weeks of unemployed life, I have a lot of time to finish knitting for conventions, and I'm thinking about going to see Chad in Maryland for a few days or a week because we don't have any definite answer of when he'll be back.

Life feels much easier and I'm much happier when he's around.  He's my best friend that I can completely be myself with and not be all self conscious about how I might look or stupid things that might come out of my mouth. I have sent him numerous links of child care places for him to check out (he's worked with kids for almost 8 years), so it better only be a matter of time before someone realizes how amazing he is and hires him.

All I would like is for him to be here now so we can snuggle and watch stupid movies. Until then...