Up & up

I feel like so much has changed since I wrote back in August.  I had a job, then I left it. Chad's now up here with me, and just began a substitute position at a child care center. It's quiet amazing really.

I could sit here and whine and bitch about finding myself unemployed again.  I was hired to do one job, in reality given another job which caused me to revisit anxiety attacks, and all of these concerns to my incompetent office manager fell on deaf ears. I quit.  I had no choice. Sure, getting a steady paycheck for a few weeks was great, but having someone repeatedly lie and deny to my face and ignore my concerns only meant that it was just a matter of time before I was going to leave anyway.  Better sooner than later, right?

So now, I'm back at square one, and while I'm not exactly thrilled about that, I am thrilled about the fact that Chad has landed a position (although, not permanent at the moment), subbing at a child care center that he really wanted to work.  I'm beyond happy for him, it means the plan is finally in motion for him to be up in Rochester full time.

I went through a bit of a mild panic stage mentally a few months ago at the idea of us actually living together.  It was like 90% excitement and 10% hesitation.  Now, we've spent so much time, it's like we've already been living together and the thought of us being miles away makes me mope.

I will admit that I've never really been super optimistic.  Over the years I've distanced from being overwhelmingly pessimistic and now consider myself to simply be a realist.  While I do look for the good in things, I also do my best not to let that overshadow the big picture. Since Chad's been in my life this past year (!!!) I feel I've allowed myself to relax, to go with the flow.  His having a job and moving up has given me hope that my turn is right around the corner. Everything happens for a reason.  We always tell each other that things have happened for us the way they were supposed to. And this is no exception.

I'll just continue to surround myself with good people and keep trying.  Eventually it'll all work out.