Chad went back to Maryland on Sunday. He'll be coming back (for good...we hope) in about 2 weeks. It feels weird that we're so close to actually living together. At the same time, I can't help but over think/over analyze and drive myself crazy.
We may have a little issue.
Now, whatever, I'm not ashamed...I've never moved out of my parent's house. Lots of issues over the years and I just never had the financial stability to actually be out on my own. My sister tells me that the landlord at their townhouse needs all 4 of us on the lease. She and her husband have lived there for several years, but now they said since Chad and I will be there, we need to be approved for it too.
This is where the panic comes in.
I don't know what factors go into them approving us. I know they do a credit check. I have good credit, Chad has none. Chad is employed, I am not. But the thing of it is, it's still primarily my sister and her husband that are holding the responsibility for the rent. Chad will be contributing, and I will as well once things get on track for me.
So, I don't know...maybe it's nothing and I'm going crazy for no reason. I'm just scared that we're so close but this roadblock is in the way. If this option doesn't work, we are royally screwed.
I've applied to a crazy amount of jobs today, even though I'm sure about a third of them were spam. I just need to find somewhere. Anywhere.
In only a few weeks, it'll be Chad and my year anniversary. It's so crazy to know that it's been a year. It feels like it flew by, but when we weren't physically together it seemed so slow. It's such a great feeling to have an amazing man in my life. He unconditionally supports and loves me and showers me with affection. He's made such a huge difference in my life and on me mentally. I don't even want to think what this year would have been like without him. I wouldn't have been able to do it.
It's a shame that some people haven't taken the opportunity to get to know how fantastic he really is, but it isn't really my problem because I know, and thats what matters. I could never find anyone better suited for me than Chad. He may be my first "real" relationship/love, and we don't know what the future holds, but we are both fully embracing whatever comes our way. Everything happens for a reason. I mean, my parents have been married for 30+ years, and my mom told me that my dad was her first real relationship. I have a lot of hope for the things we can accomplish together.
Right now my biggest hope is that the plan for him to move up in a few weeks actually happens. I'll be lost if it doesn't.
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